Here is my graduation speech, from one decidedly not-famous speaker to my decidedly wonderful soon-to-be graduate.
Congratulations, Graduate.
You’ve accomplished one of your life goals and now you have the wonderful and enviable opportunity to ask yourself the question: What comes next?
Recently you told me that for the last 15 years, you’ve had one clear goal: Get a college degree. And you’re about to accomplish that! Now, though, as you said: What do you do now?
For the first time since you were able to form goals and set expectations for yourself, you’re left to ask the question that all adults have to ask and answer: “What comes next?”
I hope you don’t get too hung up on that question. That’s a “missing the forest for the trees” kind of question. More important than “What comes next?” is the more important question: What Makes Me Happy?
One of the main reasons that I wanted you to go to college and get a degree was choices. As I’ve told you before, a college degree increases the number of choices you have. Which is not to say, by any means, that someone cannot be happy or cannot be successful without a degree. Of course they can. The difference is, you will have more choices, more options as a result of having your degree.
If you never work a day in your life in a job that depends on your degree, at a bare minimum you will have learned how to learn. And this, my Graduate, is one of the most useful skills you will ever possess. You have demonstrated to your teachers and, more importantly, yourself that you can take in many different kinds of information and you can learn it and integrate it and demonstrate your ability to apply that knowledge. This, I believe, is one of the most critical skills to be learned in college.
This skill will be incredibly helpful as you figure out what you want to do next because you know now that you can learn whatever is necessary for whatever you choose to do next.
There are other lessons, of course. One is the ability to figure out what a teacher wants and figure out how to give that to them. As you enter the adult world, you will enter a world where people expect things of you. And the quicker you can figure out what, exactly, is being asked of you and how to deliver it, the quicker you will learn to adapt to a new situation and be successful.
You’ve been away from home for most of the last four years since you graduated high school because it was important to you to learn how to live like an adult. This, also, is an important skill. I’ve used the analogy in the past that this is like the message they give you when you fly on an airplane. In case of an emergency, the air masks will come down. Put yours on FIRST, before you help someone else. At first, this seems counter to your instincts, especially if you are a parent. Of course I’m going to help my child first! That’s the right thing to do! But, the reality is, if you don’t help yourself, you may not be ABLE to help someone else. This analogy holds for learning how to care for yourself, emotionally, physically and intellectually, before you think seriously about caring for someone else. You can’t be there in all the ways you need to for someone else if you don’t look out for your own needs, too.
One of the question that I think gets asked by many graduates is this: Now that I’ve graduated, what do I do to make the money? This is, I think, almost entirely backwards from the correct way to approach where you are now. The act of asking how you make the money means you’ve put that question before the more important question which is this: What will make me happy?
It is my belief that starting from the money question will almost inevitably lead to a compromise on the second question of what will make me happy. Doing things in that order will almost certainly lead to someone who gets paid well to do a job they hate. I do not wish this on you. I do not wish it FOR you.
I was asked recently how I would feel if you took a job at minimum wage but were happy. The answer is, I’d be happy for you. Money is nice. It’s another enabler of choices and more money means more choices. But, too often it also means more stuff and more stuff does not and never will equate to happiness. As I’ve watched you learn to live on less during your college years, being on a budget, having to make trade-offs, learning to put away a financial buffer even when you weren’t making much money, I think you’ve figured that out.
So, do what makes you happy. That path is the path you should walk.
You and I have talked about you getting an advanced degree and you know my opinion on that: Do it if you want to. More education means more choices and more choices is what I want for you. Education has already broadened your mind and your ability to embrace a much wider world than you had when you exited high school. More education will broaden you further, expose you to more choices and a wider range of possible futures. That is a good thing.
I don’t know whether an advanced degree is the right thing for you because you are an adult now and only you can answer that for yourself. But, I do know this: You will never be less encumbered by debt, less encumbered by relationships and demands on your time and energy than you are now.
Your life to date has been as if you are riding on a tube down a river. Sometimes there are rapids which have tested you, sometimes you’ve been able to float and just enjoy the slower pace and appreciate your life and the scenery. But, fundamentally, as you’ve chosen, there’s only really been one path: Get a college degree.
Now, though, the river forks. And it doesn’t fork just once. It forks infinitely. Some paths may look easier, some may look more appealing, some look scary and dangerous, but they all have different appeals.
Whatever you do, choose. Choose and commit. Don’t get stuck at the fork. Figure out what the life you want looks like, what it smells like and feels like. Figure out your perfect life and start taking steps towards that life.
You will make mistakes, you will choose wrong occasionally but you are equipped to survive those choices. You are educated more than you have been at any other point in your life and so you will hopefully use that and choose wisely more often than you choose poorly.
One of the other messages I’ve had for you through you life is to be actively engaged in living your life. Be in charge of your life, don’t let your life happen to you. Do not be passive in your life or your choices. Be an active and engaged participant.
I’m going to steal this bit from Commander Chris Hadfield, currently in charge of the International Space Station. Here was a piece of his advice:
“Decide in your heart of hearts what really excites and challenges you and start moving your life in that direction. Every decision you make from what you eat to what you do with you time tonight turns you in to who you are tomorrow and the day after that. Look at who you WANT to be and start sculpting yourself in to that person. You may not get exactly where you thought you’d be, but you will be doing things that suit you in a profession you believe in.”
And, “Don’t let life randomly kick you in to the adult you don’t want to become.”
Finally, whatever you choose, know this: I will always have your back. Just as I was behind you when I was teaching you to ride a bike, I’ll be back there to support you now and forever. As time goes on, if you look over your shoulder, it might look like I’m farther away than I’ve been in the past but that’s only because I believe you are ready to do this, ready to do it on your own and take that credit for your life. But, should the bike fall over, should you crash and scrape your knee, I’ll be there to help. Your brother will be there to make you feel better. Your family, ALL of it, will be there to cheer for you when you succeed and cry with you when you stumble but will alway be there behind you to support you and love you.
So, enjoy the moment as this phase of your life comes to a close. Spend time to appreciate how far you’ve come, how much you’ve changed, how much more you are than when you started down this path by your choice. But, don’t linger. Don’t get stuck. Get ready to figure out what comes next for you, how next you will challenge yourself, what you will choose next towards your goals.
Now, go out there and kick ass, whatever that means for you, and know that I love you and am terrifically proud of you.
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